To test or Not to test...

Last time in our naively excited state of thinking we did an IUI, surely we'll be pregnant, hubby insisted that I not POAS until the beta so we could have that wonderful big moment. Of course, we didn't last quite that long when I started spotting and cramping 2 days before so we got our BFN early. I hated not testing those last couple of days- knowing i could know and be out of my waiting misery if I just hurried up and tested! So this time hubby agreed no big waiting until the day (especially since my beta is on my birthday and a unprepared for BFN would be a surefire way to ruin it!) So, I stocked up on tests and thought this time I'm going test crazy!!!

So just for fun I tested at 2 dpiui just to see if that second pink line is real and of course the trigger meant that I saw what a positive would look like. Then I tested today- 8 dpiui to make sure the trigger was gone and it was. But even though I knew it was too early to expect a bfp, the bfn still kinda stung.

So now I'm like should I test every day so I can either a) get the good news sooner or b) ease myself into the bad news. Like if I get a negative early on I'll lose a little hope day by day so that it's not all coming crashing down on one day. Or should I wait until like 12dpiui at least so that a) i'm spared being depressed early false bfns if I am pregnant or b) get to spend three more days enjoying being 'pupo' before facing the whole 'omg, i have to do ivf' collapse.

I'm leaning towards option b but who knows if I'll make it. I'm past my bad intuition phase and accepted that at this stage, who knows? I don't think I'd feel significantly different right now either way with the progesterone and all. So who knows? Waiting is insane- i hate it!