Ok, I have to admit- I kinda love transvaginal ultrasounds. not in a creepy wand inserted up me by my strangely attractive female nurse way... but I love updates, I love seeing that the meds are doing something, I love hope and optimism and all the good stuff the first ultrasound on meds brings.
Today after 3 nights of shots I had my first ultrasound and everything looks great. 1 12mm and 3 10mm follicles- 2 on both sides. With them being so close in size and with my being on ganrilex to prevent surging on my own, it's looking great for 4 mature follicles this month! Which was my goal. Honestly, at the point, I wouldn't care if there were 8 mature follicles but the dr really didn't want more than 4 because even though I didn't get pregnant at all with 2, there is apparently still a risk of high order multiples (which in my head- no babies with 2 means 4 babies with 4 seems impossible) but anyway, 4 is a great number. Twice as many as last time but without lots of risk either.
I do worry a lot still- after all I did have 5 follicles growing this time last cycle but only 2 bigger ones and three smaller ones. So 4 around the same is better. And the ganrilex will make the big difference because I could have had four last time if I hadn't started surging first. And I'm also worried that the nurse seems to think it'll be ok to not see me over the three day weekend. I think I'm going to have to fuss about that when i go in Friday again.
But all things considered, I feel better today. I started to get excited for this chance. Which is dangerous I know but what else can you do. If I assume it won't work I'm depressed and pretty sad all month. Maybe I'd rather be happy for the next three weeks, even at the price of a likely complete breakdown again. So against all logic and reason, the hope is coming back... creeping back in. And I think I might just let it. Because this last week without hope has just sucked the life out of me. So I hope this cycle works- it could and I still believe in miracles. So I'll pray and hope.
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8 years ago
4 is awesome!!! I totally get it - love going to get wanded to see what's going on in my bod.
ReplyDeleteI love that you're getting your hope back! It makes it so much easier to be hopeful!!! This past cycle, I tried to keep the hopeful and positive attitude as long as I could - for exactly the reason you described. It will still suck no matter what if it doesn't work. But you may as well have some really good days up until that point!
Thank you for the comment on my blog!! I hope this IUI works..keeping my fingers crossed for you!!
ReplyDeleteYour title made me chuckle - Science and technology are amazing and good luck with the rest of your days leading up to IUI. I just started spotting today and am somewhat nervous and excited to start the process of IUI #3...I'm not too far behind you...Best of luck
ReplyDeleteGreat news on your monitoring appointment. I have to admit, I kind of like the wanding, too. I just love seeing that *something* is happening!
ReplyDeleteYayyy so happy that everything is going well. I really hope this it for you! Remember what the mind believes the body achieves, so positive thoughts only.
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